Why O Why

Why is it so hard to keep a food log? And if I am successful in writing something down. I never get the calories down too. It seems like an enormous pain. I do not have time to find the calories in my stirfry! I'm lucky I had the time to cook dinner! Dammit!

Such a pain. But I'm trying. I have a perfectionist streak. It keeps me from even doing bare minimum sometimes. Like if I can't chart out the meal then I don't do it at all. I'm trying to be better at that and just get shit down on paper. I'll go back if I must and try to figure it out. (I really hate it) UGH!

Stress Test

What the heck!??!! I almost died. Ok not really, but I might if I ever have to do it again! That was crazy. I clearly do not exercise like I should. So what makes anyone think that super fast at a 45 degree angle is a good idea?? Shitballs.

Was chasing pics of kiddles today in the yard while they were playing in water spraying all over -hole in yard + wet grass = wipe the hell out. Yes I did. I don't know when the last time I fell was but dang it -that hurt. I did manage to do a nice tuck and roll that got laughs from the husband before he made sure I wasn't broken!

In fatty news, we have a family wedding to go to tomorrow. Dress selection is grim. I'm debating pants. Bummer. I wanted to feel pretty. In a couple I feel it but then look in the mirror and eewww. Damn I want to speed up the next year :(

Testing 1,2,3

And the testing continues! Thyroid scans look good, and antibodies look good too so we will repeat the blood test in 2 weeks. Chest xray is good. Insulin was on the edge. So it's time to get to work. Kids and I feel like S#%t. Allergies? Don't know. I do know I love mucinex :) Poor babies will have to suck it up.

Mr. Boo (DS) enjoyed a little birthday cake yesterday. 2 whole years (tomorrow actually). Where has time gone? And...I weigh more now. So depressing. Dammit! I could just kick my own ass.

It's Tuesday

That's about it. I had my chest x-ray and ultra sound of my thyroid today. So I hope to hear NOTHING about it in the next couple of days. Nothing wrong with it at all dammit!

Just hanging out with the husband watching some Sherlock movie. It's entertaining. Then I can watch the biggest loser fast with no stinkin comercials and no hour long weigh in! Ha!

I wish I had some sort of entertaining something. Or even more mojo to write out a story but I just don't have it.

Oh the WIND!

Holy Crap the WIND!! It's so blasting (?) So many signs were overturned, canopies shredded, branches ripped off trees! Strooong wind! Make my head ache!

The softball tournament for today was pushed back because of the weather. Which royaly screwed my plans. I had games for 10,12,and 2. So I had coverage for the 2 o'clock so I could go with the family to Knoebels. HOWEVER due to weather we didn't even start today until 2! I was pissed! So my coverage guy stayed till 6 and then my boss covered for me! I was sooo excited! I got to have a great day with my family! The kids were tuckered out! A lot of walking for my DD-age 4. She did great and has a new favorite ride...the cars! DS -age almost2, was nightmarish in line. He is a squirmy guy! The wind just about whipped all our hair off.

It's been 1 year since Dad died. Yesterday was really hard. Just thinking about the day and feelings we had, and looking at the clock and thinking about what we were doing. I'm so glad we got together today in a place Dad loved and had a nice day OUT and away from the house! It really helped.

Now I'm listening to the husband snore while "we" watch the end of the race. I wish I would have gone to a race with Dad. I think it would have been a great thing to do with him. I will always think of him when I go and wear his hat! Shhhh don't tell -I love Nascar. For the love of God if that got out I'd never hear the end of it....

Good Night Anyone and Everyone!

Setback?

Well, I had an appointment with my primary care Dr. today. We went over some of my recent test results. My thyroid levels seemed low?! Dammit! My heart rate has been elevated for some time now as well. So many test are scheduled. Ultrasound for the thyroid, stress echo for the heart, more blood work. I don't really care as long as everything comes back OK. If it shows a metabolic problem then surgery would be a no go. I would be ultimately discouraged. Soooo sad.

A year ago

A year ago today I was talking to my Dad on the phone and he seemed distracted. He was frustrated when he would try to tell me something. He was having trouble forming his thoughts. When we were done talking I told him I loved him and would talk to him later. Then I waited for him to hang up the phone. I waited for 30 seconds to a minute. Then I said Dad? Dad what are ya doin? He said -Well I'm talkin to you. I said Ok Dad well can you hang up the phone so I can call you later? He said Sure and he hung up. It was the last time I talked to him on the phone. It was a Monday. Then on Thursday he passed. We were all with him. This is going to be a very difficult week.

Son of a Sea Biscuit!!

Ok so I know that I couldn't have this done next week....but 6months? Dang! That bums me out. The appointment went very well. They did measurements and decided I was a good candidate. They suggested that I was at the top end of lap banding? That if my bmi was higher I would be a better bypass candidate. Eh? She even used the term dismal in reference to success rates for my size and lap band. Hmmm. Well, I guess I will have to work hard because I do not wish to rearrange my plumbing! So the plan is to have 1500-1800 calories/day, and 72 ounces of H2O. That doesn't include coffee?!?! Damn!

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the big consult day! I'm nervous as all get out. <- As I read that it makes no sense, what does it even mean? Anywho, I have my "list o questions" and my Mama so I'm good to go. My husband was going to go with me but we had a babysitter issue and I'm ok with that because I'm a little embarrased. He has known me as medium and large, or extra large as the case may now be. He is a huge supporter, but I don't think he understands how much this means to me. So I just reallly want to be medium me again :)