Ouch.

That is all for the moment. Ouch. Surgery went well. I got to come home rather than stay like they said I would - awesome! I love "liquid gold" and my bed. More about the adventure of curtain 75 at a later date! Thank you for all the support and love :)

2 Sleeps

Followers? Moi? I'm honored, Thank You! I hope I don't offend, bore, or suck your will to go on.  All are possible!

2 sleeps left before I'm senora bandora. Word. Given the behavior of my children the last week or so I think I will enjoy my 24 ish hours away!  I have decided to take 2 weeks off work. I was hesitant to take any (shhh it's a secret). But after a vague discussion with my boss, decided to do the FMLA paperwork. So if I'm bothering with that b.s.  I'm taking advantage of some of my built up time.  At first I had some guilt about leaving someone else with my share of work, but then I sobered up!

I need to finish wrapping up some gifts for husbands family Christmas tomorrow. Pack the fam for the possible weekend trip. I guess I should get to the store for some food to pack for my self as well!

On a super fun online shopping note I am anxiously awaiting my Click order to come. I need me some extra go in the morning. AND since at the time of the eggface bento giveaway I was a stalker not commenter- I in no way won that cute little thing. However, I decided to check out some eBay and found this little cutie! I hope I win! Nobody bid against me!! I think it's a sassy little thing!

3 Little Days

3 little days and a wicked lot to do!!!   

After 6 months of waiting, and the last 9 days of liquid protein diet, it is almost time. Wow. I am just ready at this point.  As of this morning I am 24 lbs down. I can't see where that came from... It just opens my eyes as to how far out of hand my weight has gotten. I look at pictures don't like what I see, but as I sit here I don't feel that fat?! The brain is a crazy thing. Fo sho.

  

The women in my family spend New Years Day at the spa. So I must pack up my family Wed. and have our bags ready. Surgery is Thursday, and we peel out Friday. I'm hoping I feel like going. I've had laproscopic surgery before and was fine the next day so I'm hoping I'm up for a car ride. If not, well I had stuff ready just in case. I really don't want to miss that spa day...

Merry Christmas!

Here we are at Christmas Eve! We've just got the kids to bed, and I'm so excited for tomorrow morning I don't know if I will sleep! I haven't been this excited in a while! I hope the kids have a lot of fun! We've laid out Santa's cookies and my girl was so excited to get to bed we skipped the milk. She said "ok that's enough I HAVE to go to sleep!"  Ok then!

This has been a busy week. We will do bullets to try to reduce ramble-age.

*  Tuesday - Got all the pre op stuff out of the way. Pre-registered, future appts. set, and prescriptions filled! Ready to rock! Oh and got the confirmation # from the ol insurance company! I was worried about that crap.

*Wednesday - Picked up the laptop again  from Best Buy. And bright and early this morning I took the damn thing back. This is #4 so we should be looking at a Lemon Law situation and I should be able to get a new one. One never knows...

*Thursday -     I  told my boss I was having surgery. Didn't tell him what for, but just told him I'd be taking some time off. I have like a month in sick days, and not having more babies sooo why not use some?!  I also told him of my concern for privacy. Last time I did fmla paperwork was when I was pregnant and he congratulated me before I even told "general population" so someone at human resources let the cat out of the bag. I also talked to H.R. and told them of my concern. They just couldn't understand how that happened. I said "would you like to see some email?" So they better step up their game.

       I also told my MIL what was going on. She was pretty excited for me so that was a nice relief. I knew she would never say anything bad, but I wasn't sure I wanted too many peeps to be in the know. However, I'm glad I told her because one more in the support system is a good thing.

*Friday - I was 100% sure I was going to spend Christmas in my pj's lounging and not cooking (bare minimum).  Lil change in plan. My in laws had a big ol change in their plans -due to my husbands 95 year ol gram that lives with them. So my in laws (the best in laws in the world) are coming over to watch the kids open presents. So I'm doing a little cinnamon bun action for that. Then last minute style I yanked a apple wood smoked turkey thing out of the freezer and am going to whip up a last minute lunch. Not fancy. Not fancy because I can't eat it and I'm bitter er excited to eat soup with protein powder added.  AND I'm not getting out of my pj's.  -ok I don't actually wear jammies, they get twisted up in the bed and that just sucks. Sweats all day baby!

So that takes me to this moment. I'm going to read over some bloggage for some pre-op "meal" creativeness. I'm sooo over the shakes. They all have the same after taste. ick.  I am digging yogurt smoothies with protein powder added. And I add unflavored protein powder to my soups. I also have some isopure drinks that have 40g protein in them. Liquids suck. I ate 1/4 cup chex mix today. I had to crunch something. I have intense guilt.   But tomorrow is another day!

One more day...

until the liquid diet begins! What?!  I've been haunted by "last supper" thoughts. Followed by panic. I haven't acted on the thoughts, haven't had giant illegal meals or anything. I was thinking tonight as I ate spaghetti for dinner, Oh Lord how I love spaghetti. Especially putting it on some yummy butter bread. I did indulge in a slice tonight. I haven't been having bread with spaghetti in forever -too many carbs!  I savored every bite of it!
 I savored every bite too. Locked it in the memory.
 
Fast forward to today, Saturday. I'm at work for a bit...bummer. AND I'm protein shake-ing it. 2 weeks? Seriously? I think supper times will be the most difficult. That's when I tended to go crazy because I was stinking hungry from "being good" all day. Oh the changes.  After work I will head to GNC for some isopure(?) I hear it is a nice break from the shakes. The shakes all seem to have the same aftertaste. It's gonna get old fast. But onward! Eyes on the prize! 

How about a date?

Yes? You would like a date? Ok, how about DECEMBER 30TH??????
Um shit OK. Sounds good.
Wow, that was a little quicker than I had thought. And what is up with the liquid diet for Xmas??? 
What ev.
December 30th.  I'd say it's a hell of a way to start 2011! In a most excellent way!!
I'm a little nervous, gotta be honest. I'm having some panicky what ifs. But, reading all the wonderful successes of the blogs helps sooo much.
I need some tums now.

It's Saturday! and...

I'm at work. Boo. But, it could always be worse! I do have a job. I do have benefits. My family is warm and fed well. (Mommy perhaps too much -hence the LB in her future eh?)

Anywho, I will use time wisely and blog. Had a great appt. with the dietician this past Tuesday. Was down another 4# from previous month appt. Yay! And freakin amazing considering I've been sick for 5 weeks with colds, sinus infections and haven't been to the gym near as much as I should have been. She also gave me the information about starting the liquid diet, and sample menu stuff. It's all gonna be a head game man.

The week of the 9th I went to my first support group meeting. It was so good. I fo-reels had some tears at what some people had accomplished with their bypass or band. The start of the group had everyone introduce themselves and where they were at in their journey. Everyone got applause, even those just starting out or thinking about WLS at all. The man that spoke had weighed 435# nine months ago. That night he weighed 275. Crazy wow. The group was really positive and any question was listened to and really answered by anyone who could. I'm hoping I can shuffle my work schedule Tuesday to get there again.

Speaking of Tuesday... the "big meet with the surgeon" and hopefully "get a surgery date" will be this Tuesday. I'm a little nervous. What if he's like -No. You are mental. No band for you. (Said like Soup Nazi on Seinfeld.)

On a family note, our wonderful nanny gave us 2 weeks notice. She has a family situation and so must leave us. I seriously cried all morning yesterday. She is so wonderful. The kids love her. I have NO worries while she is there. She always tidies up, dishes, laundry, toys etc... She's going to be so missed. So now WHAT DO I DO??! I have heartburn just typing this.

Oh November

Wow. Here it is. November. Some snow is expected this weekend. Not that it will stay but dang, where did time go? I was just sweating wasn't I?

Well the ol 6 months has gone by quickly. I can't say that this process has been helpful in preparing or informing. The best information has come from so many of the blogs. So much inspiration to be taken from them! I have a dietitian appt. on the 11th, and then my appointment with the surgeon is going to be on the 23rd. I sure hope he squeaks me in when I have a break in the holidays. Time off work is not going to be easy. That is if I get final approval! Oy!

The psyche eval just pissed me off. The lady stared at my throat and lectured me about milk. Then proceeded to give me a yellow light. The yellow light didn't matter time wise luckily -or I'd have been reeeally cantankerous!

I've been sampling protein shakes in prep for the liquid diet extravaganza. Honestly they all taste the same to me. None are yummy, but iced down I can deal. For weeks and weeks? That remains to be seen.

Lastly, I found a nifty little app that tracks diet, exercise, water, weight, and measurements -online or off :) It's been nice to just slam in info right at the gym.

Here's hoping I don't fall off the world again for many months. I would think about blogging but felt like if I didn't have anything interesting or funny or whatever to say then I just shouldn't. But that doesn't keep me real accountable does it? So even if it's just me, and whoever reads over my shoulder :) I'll try to keep on going!

Gone so long

Yup. I have been. Gone from the blogging. Brief catch up:

• Nutrition Appt: waste of my life. seriously. the stinky woman next to me in our "class" couldn't even be bothered to stay awake for the damn thing. Just really basic info that I think was learned in health class. I was disappointed.
• Later got a phone call to up the iron to prescription rather than over the counter. Anemic still.
• T4 level is dropping, TSH (?) is fine. I had no idea what this was so I googled. Apparently the thyroid is fine (ultra sound showed that too) but this could be caused by a pituitary problem???? SO why hasn't my doc expressed concern?? Is this just me going over the edge and thinking I have cancer again (like I do at least once a month since Dad died)??? More exploring to do there.
• Thank You Jesus summer vacation is here. I'm so fricken burned out on the job front I really needed this awesome time with my kids. We have a nice little schedule going on and I'm falling into the meal prep again. I love summer!
• Debating joining the YMCA so I can start swimming. I really want to start doing something. I just am afraid that I will peter out on it and really waste a lot o cash. Cash that could be put toward my cabin fund!! BUT I need to do something for myself...I hate this fat suit so much, but why is it so hard to do something to aid in melting it?
• Good night blog land. I'm in need of a solid 8!

Why O Why

Why is it so hard to keep a food log? And if I am successful in writing something down. I never get the calories down too. It seems like an enormous pain. I do not have time to find the calories in my stirfry! I'm lucky I had the time to cook dinner! Dammit!

Such a pain. But I'm trying. I have a perfectionist streak. It keeps me from even doing bare minimum sometimes. Like if I can't chart out the meal then I don't do it at all. I'm trying to be better at that and just get shit down on paper. I'll go back if I must and try to figure it out. (I really hate it) UGH!

Stress Test

What the heck!??!! I almost died. Ok not really, but I might if I ever have to do it again! That was crazy. I clearly do not exercise like I should. So what makes anyone think that super fast at a 45 degree angle is a good idea?? Shitballs.

Was chasing pics of kiddles today in the yard while they were playing in water spraying all over -hole in yard + wet grass = wipe the hell out. Yes I did. I don't know when the last time I fell was but dang it -that hurt. I did manage to do a nice tuck and roll that got laughs from the husband before he made sure I wasn't broken!

In fatty news, we have a family wedding to go to tomorrow. Dress selection is grim. I'm debating pants. Bummer. I wanted to feel pretty. In a couple I feel it but then look in the mirror and eewww. Damn I want to speed up the next year :(

Testing 1,2,3

And the testing continues! Thyroid scans look good, and antibodies look good too so we will repeat the blood test in 2 weeks. Chest xray is good. Insulin was on the edge. So it's time to get to work. Kids and I feel like S#%t. Allergies? Don't know. I do know I love mucinex :) Poor babies will have to suck it up.

Mr. Boo (DS) enjoyed a little birthday cake yesterday. 2 whole years (tomorrow actually). Where has time gone? And...I weigh more now. So depressing. Dammit! I could just kick my own ass.

It's Tuesday

That's about it. I had my chest x-ray and ultra sound of my thyroid today. So I hope to hear NOTHING about it in the next couple of days. Nothing wrong with it at all dammit!

Just hanging out with the husband watching some Sherlock movie. It's entertaining. Then I can watch the biggest loser fast with no stinkin comercials and no hour long weigh in! Ha!

I wish I had some sort of entertaining something. Or even more mojo to write out a story but I just don't have it.

Oh the WIND!

Holy Crap the WIND!! It's so blasting (?) So many signs were overturned, canopies shredded, branches ripped off trees! Strooong wind! Make my head ache!

The softball tournament for today was pushed back because of the weather. Which royaly screwed my plans. I had games for 10,12,and 2. So I had coverage for the 2 o'clock so I could go with the family to Knoebels. HOWEVER due to weather we didn't even start today until 2! I was pissed! So my coverage guy stayed till 6 and then my boss covered for me! I was sooo excited! I got to have a great day with my family! The kids were tuckered out! A lot of walking for my DD-age 4. She did great and has a new favorite ride...the cars! DS -age almost2, was nightmarish in line. He is a squirmy guy! The wind just about whipped all our hair off.

It's been 1 year since Dad died. Yesterday was really hard. Just thinking about the day and feelings we had, and looking at the clock and thinking about what we were doing. I'm so glad we got together today in a place Dad loved and had a nice day OUT and away from the house! It really helped.

Now I'm listening to the husband snore while "we" watch the end of the race. I wish I would have gone to a race with Dad. I think it would have been a great thing to do with him. I will always think of him when I go and wear his hat! Shhhh don't tell -I love Nascar. For the love of God if that got out I'd never hear the end of it....

Good Night Anyone and Everyone!

Setback?

Well, I had an appointment with my primary care Dr. today. We went over some of my recent test results. My thyroid levels seemed low?! Dammit! My heart rate has been elevated for some time now as well. So many test are scheduled. Ultrasound for the thyroid, stress echo for the heart, more blood work. I don't really care as long as everything comes back OK. If it shows a metabolic problem then surgery would be a no go. I would be ultimately discouraged. Soooo sad.

A year ago

A year ago today I was talking to my Dad on the phone and he seemed distracted. He was frustrated when he would try to tell me something. He was having trouble forming his thoughts. When we were done talking I told him I loved him and would talk to him later. Then I waited for him to hang up the phone. I waited for 30 seconds to a minute. Then I said Dad? Dad what are ya doin? He said -Well I'm talkin to you. I said Ok Dad well can you hang up the phone so I can call you later? He said Sure and he hung up. It was the last time I talked to him on the phone. It was a Monday. Then on Thursday he passed. We were all with him. This is going to be a very difficult week.

Son of a Sea Biscuit!!

Ok so I know that I couldn't have this done next week....but 6months? Dang! That bums me out. The appointment went very well. They did measurements and decided I was a good candidate. They suggested that I was at the top end of lap banding? That if my bmi was higher I would be a better bypass candidate. Eh? She even used the term dismal in reference to success rates for my size and lap band. Hmmm. Well, I guess I will have to work hard because I do not wish to rearrange my plumbing! So the plan is to have 1500-1800 calories/day, and 72 ounces of H2O. That doesn't include coffee?!?! Damn!

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the big consult day! I'm nervous as all get out. <- As I read that it makes no sense, what does it even mean? Anywho, I have my "list o questions" and my Mama so I'm good to go. My husband was going to go with me but we had a babysitter issue and I'm ok with that because I'm a little embarrased. He has known me as medium and large, or extra large as the case may now be. He is a huge supporter, but I don't think he understands how much this means to me. So I just reallly want to be medium me again :)

Here I go!

Woo! The New adventure hopefully starts on Monday 5/3/10!! GI Nutrition and Weight loss consult! I am excited. It's been like a countdown in my mind for 3 weeks now! I feel like a kid counting days to my birthday. I called the insurance company and I have an approval for 6 months or 6 visits to start. So I'm happy the pieces of the puzzle are coming together :)